Stick it to me

I love this time of year.

Why now?

Here’s an extended metaphor:

It’s January. Two days ago, the temperature was in the 20’s. Yesterday was just as bad. Then, all of a sudden, you wake up to a beautifully sunny day. Clear skies. 70 degrees. Sun is shining. Birds are chirping. Bees are trying to have sex with them (at least as my understanding goes).

In that moment, all you can think about is summer. No matter how far away it might be, it is all that is on your mind. You smell the beach air. Taste the lemonade. Feel the sun warm on your face. For all intents and purposes, at that moment, it is summer.

Alright. Metaphor ended. So why am I loving this time of year?

Because it is primary season.

Now, to be honest, I am not any sort of political pundit. Hell, I’ve really only voted once in my life. (Stupid Green Party registration, can’t vote in the stupid primaries.)

What cracks me up is the lengths to which people go in campaigning for their candidate of choice. The annoying, all-up-in-your-grill pamphleteering. The “deep”, oftentimes alcohol-induced late night political debates that result in someone’s feelings getting hurt. The buttons, shirts, headbands, dog leashes, hot-air balloons, billboards, beer-coozies, candidate-shaped cookies, etc. etc. etc.

It’s nuts.

What I want to focus on here, though, is the bumper sticker. (Here is where the metaphor comes into play)

All of this campaigning and candidate touting (or defaming), it is primetime season for political bumper stickers. And as far as my senses are concerned, all I can smell, taste, hear and feel is the hilarity I am bound to experience come next year, when all of the electioneering is complete, and that ’98 Accord drives past, covered in Ron Paul or Rudy Giuliani stickers.

It’s great. Really. I cannot wait.

The best part is that even after their fave candidate loses, they keep those babies up. Sure, they could cover that Kerry sticker up with one bragging about their child's academic or athletic achievements, or maybe a Phish decal. But no, he sticks to his guns. And his sticker.

Yes, few things amaze me as much as the phenomenon of the bumper sticker. Not just political ones either. Music groups. Social thoughts. Sports teams. Calvin peeing on (more) things (than R. Kelly).

The bumper sticker is just so timeless. So genuine.

“Wearing your heart on your sleeve” for motor vehicles?

You bet.