The economics of victory

Over the Christmas holiday, I found myself with some extra time on my hands - a fact my family would strongly argue with due to my overall lack of presence in the house with them. Regardless, there I was. Bored even.  

As I aimlessly surfed the interweb, as I prefer to call it, I stumbled upon - believe it or not - an embedded advertisement that I actually clicked on!  (Damn you Facebook ads)

It was a link to a the International Open Amateur Photography Contest sponsored by Picture.com.

Hmm, I thought.  I like to take pictures.

So it was settled. I'd enter.  And enter I did.  My submission:

"Virtuoso"

So there I am, taking down my daily dose of self-indulgence, and expecting absolutely nothing to come from it (aside from the probability of having just signed myself up for a host of unsolicited emails).

With that, I closed up the macbook and headed out the door to do who knows what.

A week goes by.

Just last week, then, I receive an email while at work alerting me that, and I quote:

After thoroughly reviewing and discussing your photograph, I am pleased to inform you that our 

Selection Committee has advanced your contest entry, "Virtuoso," to semi-finalist in the 

International Open Amateur Photography Contest.

Now how a-bout that...  Just when I had decided to expect nothing in return, the kind folks at Picture.com blow me out of the water with this.

My first inclination, obviously, is what can I win?

(And here's where it gets fun)

After a few bolded statements, throwing all sorts of numbers with ridiculous odds to actually win them, comes the steak and potatoes of the whole email:

And that’s not all! In celebration of your unique talent, we also wish to publish your photograph in our forthcoming anthology series . . .

Endless Journeys

Endless Journeys will be a classic, coffee-table quality hardbound volume that is printed on fine-milled paper specifically selected to faithfully reproduce the unique texture and character of your photograph.

In short, I was being awarded with the opportunity of a liftetime, to purchase a large book with lots of pictures that somehow equates into the euphoric-sounding world of Endless Journeys, where, as Jay Farrar from Son Volt puts it, "It's the search, not the find."

Right.

A couple of paragraphs and one click on a hyperlink later, and I'm seeing dollar signs.  $69.99.

After reading this, I promptly closed the email up.  I was going to wait it out.  See what's next.  After all, they did boast that "no purchase was necessary".

A couple days later, and I receive another email from the Picture.com crew.  Turns out, I was being nominated by the International Society of Photographers to be a "Distinguished Member."

AKA, Basic Membership = $60, 1-year Distinguished Membership = $149, 2-year Distinguished Membership = $249.

Did I mention:

So, now, let's say I'm a sucker for 24-karat gold pins and special members-only decals, yet have unresolved commitment issues, so I choose the 1-year Distinguished Member option.

That's $149, + the $69.99 for the 'coffee-table quality hardbound volume', featuring my photo, a small fish in a large pond.  

$149.00 + $69.99 = $218.99

Whoa.

Then, two days later, with the same resilience as the mustache, they were back. And the offerings got shinier:

Now what man can turn down all that glitz and exclamation-pointed phrases starting with the word "New"?

This guy. Right here. He can, and did.

2007 Published Photographer Award Pin - $19.95

Commemorative Bronze Editor's Choice Medallion - $49.95  (pin free if you buy this)

2007 Editor's Choice Commemorative Silver Watch - $119.00  (pin and medallion free if you buy this)

"Just saying No" - priceless

So, to recap my savings.:

$149.00 + $69.99 + $119.00 (best value) = $337.99 (plus shipping & handling, duh.)

Did I mention, "no purchase necessary"?

And there you have it.  The economics of victory are this: In order to get the shiny, glitzy, flashy, and otherwise useless things in this world, all you gotta do is submit something to an online contest.  Poetry, photography, origami, whatever the case is.  They'll be knocking on your virtual door in no time.

[As a side note, here is the url for the pin/medallion/watch combo package. It doesn't appear to be applicant-specific. Do me a favor, and wear all three "Editor's Choice"-emblazoned decorations proudly. For both of us. For all of us.]